Day 95: Highlights from another typical (read: insane) Trump interview

He squeezed in the word “great” 35 times bragged about his newfound ability to turn off critical television.

The AP interviewed Donald Trump in the Oval Office and published the transcript.

There are too many “somebody said”s or “I heard”s or “people are saying”s to count in the interview. While he struggled with times, places, names, specifics and anything else of substantive importance, he did manage to use the words “very” 35 times, “great” 35 times, and “tremendous” nine times.

Here are some of the delusional ramblings of the leader of the free world:

• “I think the 100 days is, you know, it’s an artificial barrier.”

Donald Trump promised the first 100 days would be an incredible accomplishment for him, even going so far as to create a “Contract with the American Voter.”

• “I have great relationships with Congress. I think we’re doing very well and I think we have a great foundation for future things. We’re going to be applying, I shouldn’t tell you this, but we’re going to be announcing, probably on Wednesday, tax reform. And it’s — we’ve worked on it long and hard. And you’ve got to understand, I’ve only been here now 93 days, 92 days. President Obama took 17 months to do Obamacare. I’ve been here 92 days but I’ve only been working on the health care, you know I had to get like a little bit of grounding right? Health care started after 30 day(s), so I’ve been working on health care for 60 days. …You know, we’re very close. And it’s a great plan, you know, we have to get it approved.”

Huh?

• “Somebody, yeah, somebody put out the concept of a hundred-day plan.”

The “somebody” is him. It’s still on his website.

• “But things change. There has to be flexibility. Let me give you an example. President Xi, we have a, like, a really great relationship. For me to call him a currency manipulator and then say, “By the way, I’d like you to solve the North Korean problem,” doesn’t work. So you have to have a certain flexibility, Number One. Number Two, from the time I took office till now, you know, it’s a very exact thing. It’s not like generalities. Do you want a Coke or anything?”

The last sentence really is in the transcript.

• “I didn’t put Supreme Court judge on the 100 (day) plan, and I got a Supreme Court judge.”

It’s on there: “[B]egin the process of selecting a replacement for Justice Scalia from one of the 20 judges on my list…”

Also, it’s Supreme Court Justice, not judge.

• “Our military is so proud. They were not proud at all. They had their heads down. Now they have their heads up.”

Has he spoken to anyone who has actually said this? Maybe “Kush” found these people when he went to Iraq.

• On the surprising difficulty of the presidency: “[E]very decision is much harder than you’d normally make.”

The President of the United States is surprised that being President of the United States is hard.

• “People want the border wall. My base definitely wants the border wall, my base really wants it — you’ve been to many of the rallies. OK, the thing they want more than anything is the wall. My base, which is a big base; I think my base is 45 percent. You know, it’s funny. The Democrats, they have a big advantage in the electoral college. Big, big, big advantage. I’ve always said the popular vote would be a lot easier than the electoral college. The electoral college — but it’s a whole different campaign (unintelligible). The electoral college is very difficult for a Republican to win, and I will tell you, the people want to see it. They want to see the wall, they want to see security. Now, it just came out that they’re 73 percent down. … That’s a tremendous achievement. … Look at this, in 100 days, that down to the lowest in 17 years and it’s going lower. Now, people aren’t coming because they know they’re not going to get through, and there isn’t crime. You know the migration up to the border is horrible for women, you know that? (Unintelligible.) Now, much of that’s stopped because they can’t get through.”

The question was about a spending bill. The answer was … something?

• On the cost of the proposed border wall: “And if I do a super-duper, higher, better, better security, everything else, maybe it goes a little bit more.”

Some Americans actually believe a septuagenarian with the vocabulary of a fifth grader is super-duper smart.

• “But we create a lot of jobs, 500,000 jobs as of two months ago, and plenty created since.

Thanks, Obama.

• “No, I don’t support or unsupport [Julian Assange and Wikileaks].”

Trump begged Wikileaks to release more Hillary Clinton emails and information during the campaign.

• On Democrats being hacked: “If they had the proper defensive devices on their internet, you know, equipment, they wouldn’t even allow the FBI.”

The proper defensive devices on their internet? Is this even close to a sentence?

• On speaking with European leaders about the Iran deal: “I don’t talk to them about it … I mention it, but it’s very personal when I talk to them, you know, it’s confidential.”

So he speaks with them about the deal or he doesn’t?

• “[S]ome people said [my address to Congress] was the single best speech ever made in that chamber.”

No one said that.

• After a long-winded ramble about “tremendous success” in the Middle East: “I don’t talk about it.”

Irony.

• On his general strategy to defeat ISIS: “Generally is we have got to get rid of ISIS. We have no choice. And other terrorist organizations.”

Strong strategy.

• “I’ve done more than any other president in the first 100 days…”

This is possibly correct, but only if he’s referring to playing golf.

• “[Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-GA)] said [I] will be the greatest president. He said you will be, in front of five, six people, he said you will be the greatest president in the history of this country.”

Cummings denies having said that.

• “On any, on air, (CBS “Face the Nation” host John) Dickerson had 5.2 million people. It’s the highest for “Face the Nation” or as I call it, “Deface the Nation.” It’s the highest for “Deface the Nation” since the World Trade Center. Since the World Trade Center came down. It’s a tremendous advantage.”

America is screwed.

• “The one thing I’ve learned to do that I never thought I had the ability to do. I don’t watch CNN anymore.” (AP: You just said you did.) “No. No, I, if I’m passing it, what did I just say (inaudible)?” (AP: You just said) “Where? Where?” (AP: Two minutes ago.) “No, they treat me so badly. No, I just said that. No, I, what’d I say, I stopped watching them. But I don’t watch CNN anymore. I don’t watch MSNBC. I don’t watch it. Now I heard yesterday that MSNBC, you know, they tell me what’s going on. (AP: Right.) In fact, they also did. I never thought I had the ability to not watch. Like, people think I watch (MSNBC’s) ‘Morning Joe.’ I don’t watch ‘Morning Joe.’ I never thought I had the ability to, and who used to treat me great by the way, when I played the game. I never thought I had the ability to not watch what is unpleasant, if it’s about me. Or pleasant. But when I see it’s such false reporting and such bad reporting and false reporting that I’ve developed an ability that I never thought I had… I don’t know why it is, but I’ve developed that ability, and it’s happened over the last, over the last year.”

Are we sure Donald Trump isn’t an American hero with all the sacrifices he’s making, such as developing skills such as not watching television?

• “And I don’t watch things that I know are going to be unpleasant.”

Has Trump ever heard of confirmation bias, much less that he’s the poster child for it?

• “I don’t watch things, and I never thought I had that ability. I always thought I’d watch … I never thought I’d be able to do that and for me, it’s so easy to do now. Just don’t watch.”

American. Hero.

95 days in, 1367 to go

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